Recapping Ramadhan 5 and into Ramadhan 6
Well, since I was at home before 7 pm as opposed to after 9 pm (since I had no class), I was able to start packing early as our flight left Trinidad at 6:30 am. Of course, I *didn’t* start packing early.
I was…tired…but didn’t sleep because I had to pack.
We woke up at 2:45 am (well I woke dad up…did I sleep?? no) so as to leave at 3:45. We intended to eat Suhur in the car on the way (which is when we would normally be eating Suhur) and then check-in and then after check-in pray Fajr salah. This all went as planned. We made sandwiches after we got ready in the morning, took two bottles of water in the car, one carrying mug of coffee and thanked our friend profusely for dropping us to the airport.
There were at least 3 other people on the flight going to the funeral. We’re all still in a bit of shock. On a nice note, she (the deceased) was fasting and had arranged for the whole first week of Iftar (breaking of the fast) at her masjid.
Funny quote of the day: “Everything else can be late but we the passengers have to be here early.” It’s funny because it’s coming from a Guyanese. My brother-in-law and all the Guyanese I know reach late late late or leave home when they should be checking-in. They think check-in time is a mild suggestion and laugh at us Trinis (or my family in particular) for coming on time. Why do we want to spend so long in the airport, they want to know. THis guy must be truly transplanted and taken root for him to say such a thing.
Back to the flight. It was coming from Toronto so we say the Toronto family in there. There were at least 7 of them. A flight from New York came in at the same time with who knows how much people!
My sister and mother were supposed to pick us up at the airport. Chennette was sick still so my brother-in-law was there and he broke down again. But actually all the family were all there to pick up the tonnes of people coming in as the funeral and jannazah (funeral prayers) were today. It seemed we did the right think in saying whose funeral we came to as the Airport officials made the decision on their own to let people coming in for the funeral breeze through without any hassle. My brother-in-law’s sister was a business woman and travelled in and out regularly and brought containers regularly.
I broke my fast at 9 am…when we were at the masjid, when they started preps for bathing her. There are concessions for the sick and those on the journey. So, I’d made the journey but I could see this was going to be a very difficult fast for me and I’m on the wrong side of sickly and I had a concession and my mom would’ve booffed me if I turned up fasting.
I didn’t actually go to the funeral. I stayed home with Chennette as she was sick. But…I just slept…and slept and she complained how she had no company. It was HUGE!
And later in the night I was still falling asleep. My body seems disconnected. I tried a sugar fix and a chocolate/candy fix and a frappuccino fix but I don’t know!
I’m not sure if the children have fully comprehended their mother’s death. At least the little girl hasn’t. I don’t know how it’s going to be. We watched DVDs with them. Tomorrow we might make pizza and watch some movies at Chennette’s.
I must sleep now. Mom, dad, Chennette and I are at Chennette’s. Everybody is at big sister’s. There are four bedrooms, big-sister’s mother-in-law’s, my niece’s, girls’ room, boys’ room. I believe it’s crowded!
Dad leaves tomorrow and mom and I leave on Sunday.
I’m really worried about the children. Yesterday (Wednesday, day after death) was the boy’s birthday. When mom came with KFC, doubles and doughnuts, he was extremely happy…KFC for his birthday.
The children: how old are they? Are they overwhelmed with all the relative strangers around? They might be in shock, or they might be putting on a happy face for the strangers. Or perhaps they don’t know how to feel yet, because they haven’t really processed all the implications yet. They go from normalcy to being told that their mother isn’t ever coming home again to having a house full of strangers who are doing out-of-the-ordinary things: worrying about them but trying not to show it, bringing them special foods, playing games, etc. When would they have had time to process it all? And would they feel comfortable showing their confusion and grief to this houseful of people? Plus, everybody mourns differently. When I lost my brother when I was 10, the rest of my family visibly mourned immediately after the death, but I felt nothing. It took about three months for me to mourn.
Besides, having KFC for your birthday is awesome. Why should pain dull the joy? :)
Comment by Rachel — Friday 29th, September 2006 @ 2:54 pm
They are 9 and 11. And it is possible the grand amount of strangers are unsettling. But also, they are accustomed to their parents going on trips far away while they stay at my sister’s. Also, they stay at my sister’s on evenings until their parents close the stores so in a sense that is normal.
Normal Friday activities include ice-cream, popcorn and picking a DVD to watch with my sister and that’s sort of what was happening on Thursday. They both are talking (with us at least or Chennette) about their mom but I’m sure it won’t really sink in totally until everyone’s gone and new arrangements start being followed.
I think she was confused as to why her grandmother was crying so much. I guess it’ll sink in soon enough if it hasn’t already.
I think we’ve promised to have pizza night tomorrow at Chennette’s apartment. And, thankfully, that’s a *small* place so really can’t fit too much people :-D
How old was your brother?
Comment by Lily — Friday 29th, September 2006 @ 9:48 pm